Thoughts pending.

Thoughts pending.

Thoughts pending.

Thoughts pending.

Thoughts pending.

Thoughts pending.

In desperate need of spot patches, all sweat-drenched brow and wild eyes I stormed the usual local discount retailer all but praying at the alter of ye olde acne gods to have Cosrx’s tried-and-tested iteration in stock. Though it wasn’t (sobs), I did pick up a set of Catch Me Patch’s soothing patches.

Boasting an impressive number of ninety patches at a reasonable price point, it seemed too good to be true. And, well, it was. They aren’t particularly great at drawing gunk out, and tend to peel off. Stick with what you know, and all that.

“Y’know, I do like baths and working on my body” thought your mystified webmistress, gazing at a Bath & Body Works store with all the gravitas of someone armed with a a yaoi paddle. That first trip culminated in my being tossed about by the relentless tide that is Lunchtime Rush Hell™, eyeing a sea of cherry blossom and vanilla with palpable longing; swept away into the crowd with an almost mournful “until next time, then”. When that next time did arrive one early morning, the store was… practically empty?!

Strawberry Pound Cake ended up being the first fragrance mist to capture my attention, with its Y2K-esque bubble stylings and dreamy pastel hues. Though some may find its fresh and fruity tones a touch cloying, it envelops me in a sea of velvety strawberry ice cream, all vivid pinks with fresh, glistening chunks strewn about. A luscious, dreamy scent that I sometimes spritz on before bed, all sweet strawberry reveries.

Kwailnara’s utterly delectable food-inspired body cleanser range has earned pride of place in all matter of rose-filtered, low-saturated GRWMs. Recalling a glimpse of the strawberry staple once upon a clock app scroll, I wandered into the usual discount retailer. Its signature pink caught my eye, but what truly piqued my curiousity was a splash of brown. Coffee…?!

Unbothered by the prospect of reeking like I’d stumbled out of a café, syrup-stained apron and imaginary beans rattling around the depths of pockets, I grabbed it without so much as a furtive review search. Leaving a curious white cast which disappears soon after, it reveals a dreamy hazelnut latte scent. Doesn’t last as long as it could, but I’m sure there are ways to preserve that which I’ll look into. Eventually. Maybe.

Entranced by creamy foam slathered across glistening limbs gracing my clock app’s feed (and perhaps, stomach audibly rumbling, craving a milkshake), I picked up Sundae’s Very Vanilla Whipped Shower Foam. The notion of whipped shower foam struck me as novel, and though I can’t quite shake the suspicion that I’m immersed in a full-body shave ritual, the act of foaming up your limbs in such a manner gives me a kick each and every time.

A soft, faint vanilla vanishes not too long after towelling off, fading entirely within an hour or so. Possibly best enjoyed within a ‘collaborative’ context.

Amidst Universal Pictures’ suspiciously systematic attempt at recapturing Barbie’s pizazz through targeting audiences with Ariana Grande plastered all over their walls, I found myself meandering into Lush, lured by their latest seasonal curiosities. Drawn to the Wicked section, I took a hesitant sniff of its Green Shower Elixir. Despite the olfactory cacophony threatening to overwhelm whenever one darkens a Lush branch’s door, through the glittery haze of bath bombs faint citrus notes called out due to the presence Brazilian orange oil. Clutching a medium-sized bottle-cum-enchanted artifact, I all but floated home on a broomstick.

In practice, I feel less like a figure embroiled in all matter of sociopolitical upheaval and more like a sweet left rattling around a Quality Street tin come January; all artificial fondant and ooey, gooey regret. The bottle now haunts my bathroom, all but certainly casting a hex for my cracking aye-is your-xxx-green jokes all those months back. Am desperately trying to use the bottle up but it never ends. Perhaps I truly have been cursed…?!